Peter continues with his discussion on submission, applying it to husbands and wives. Is Peter teaching that wives are inferior to men? What does “submission” mean in the context of marriage? Are women the only ones who “submit” in that relationship?
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Here is the transcript for today’s podcast:
3:1-7 Husbands and Wives
1Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands
“In the same way” in both v.1 and v.7 points back to 2:13
Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority:
Christian wives are not to be submissive like slaves – slaves have no choice, wives do. Voluntary submission displays strength, not weakness.
A person (in this case, wives)should submit because this will commend Christ to others and keep reproach from His name. Submission to others also in itself is a service to Christ.
so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
The phrase translated “so that” introduces the purpose of the command. Just as the Christian finds himself/herself living in a world of unbelievers, so the believing wife might find herself living in a marriage with an unbelieving husband.
“As the Gospel was proclaimed, it was always possible for a wife to be converted before her husband. In such a situation where the man is disobedient to the Gospel message, he may be “won over” for the faith without a word by the way his wife lives.”
Expositor’s Bible Commentary (Abridged Edition): New Testament Copyright 2004.
I remember the old saying, “What you do speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say.”
Remember – in chapter 2 verse 12, Peter wrote:
“Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God…”
In this chapter (chapter 3), Peter takes this command from chapter 2 and drills down to become more specific in application. In this case – he is addressing wives.
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
Wives should be known by their inner nature, not their outer adornment. This is not a prohibition from Peter concerning what a woman wears. He is not outlawing jewelry, fancy hair, or expensive clothing. He is telling wives that her actions should outshine what she wears.
“The Christian woman is to cultivate an inner disposition (“spirit”) of a “gentle” (lit., meek) and quiet sort that is imperishable or “unfading.”
Expositor’s Bible Commentary (Abridged Edition): New Testament Copyright 2004.
As she loves her husband with that particular “Agape” (self-sacrificing – putting others needs before your own) kind of love, the unbelieving husband may be won over to the faith.
Peter now gives the example of Sarah. Sarah was not a doormat to Abraham – she was his partner and had an incredibly powerful part to play in Abraham’s story.
5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
The writer of Hebrews says in chapter 11:1 that
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
In calling women to not give way to fear, Peter is telling them to exercise faith that God can be trusted. The believing wife trusts that God will save their husbands, and their part in this process is through humility and agape love.
7 Husbands, in the same way (points back to 2:13…i.e. “submit yourselves”) be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker (physically – not intellectually or societally) partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
First, notice that Peter says the wives are heirs WITH their husbands, hinting at an equality within the Kingdom of God. This lines up with what Paul says in Romans and Galatians.
Romans 8:17
“…we (i.e. everyone – male and female) are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ…”
Galatians 3:28
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Second, the husband is to be considerate… this implies that husband is to KNOW his wife inside and out, knowing her abilities, her strengths, her weaknesses. With that knowledge, he is then to treat her with respect. All of this comes under the umbrella command “submit yourselves”. To submit is not being weak. Submission is a quiet strength. My wife and I mutually submit to each other – I know her so well, that I can make up for her areas of weaknesses, as she does mine.
She has discernment where it comes to people. I generally do not. So if I am interacting with anybody I rely on her to tell me what she thinks about this or that person. I have never known her to be wrong about judging someones character and trustworthiness. I submit to her in that area. On the other hand, when we have been faced with potential disaster, I seem to have an extraordinary faith in God in the midst of those moments, and she has learned to lean on me and trust me in those times. Our marriage is in a constant state of mutual submission. It has nothing to do with superiority or dominance. She walks BESIDE me, not in front or behind me.
How does this square with the statement where Peter says the wife is the weaker partner? This word has to do with physical … in other words, the wife is physically weaker – not weaker morally, spiritually, intellectually, or societally. The Bible is replete with stories of strong female protagonists. Some were judges, some were prophets. These were NOT inferior women..
Again – my wife walks beside me – not behind me. We are equal partners in this life, each with our own areas of responsibilities, submitting to each other constantly in this thing or that.
Be Blessed!
1 Peter 3:1-7… Husbands and Wives
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